What To Wear To A Wake
Renée Bu
Table of Contents
Preparing for a wake is an emotional experience on its own, but when you add in the stress of putting together an outfit, it can be even more overwhelming.
Although the event is rather somber, planning what to wear to a wake doesn’t have to be sad, frustrating, or difficult. To help ease the stress of your already emotional event, we’ll be breaking down the dos and don’ts of wake wear so you don’t have to.
By the end of this helpful guide, you’ll walk away knowing more about these topics:
- The best wake attire
- Wake outfit ideas for both men and women
- How to style your wake outfit
- What to avoid when dressing for a wake
- Where to buy your apparel
What Is A Wake?
A wake is a social gathering held after a loved one has passed. It usually takes place before the funeral although in some cultures the wake is held afterward.
In the early history of the wake, it was customary for mourners to keep their deceased loved ones at home and watch over them until they were buried after the funeral.
This aspect of the wake has since become less common in Western society but it is still practiced by many in England, Ireland, and Scotland.
Wakes also have a history associated with prayer. Originally, the austere event was an annual occasion that took place on the feast day of a particular saint (which is a day derived from the calendar of the saints).
As time passed, however, the wake’s association with prayer has been removed from the forefront of the event. Although the religious aspect is not completely gone for most, it has taken a backseat at modern wakes and social interaction is now the main focus.
In some instances when the wake is held before the funeral, it’s common for the casket or urn of the deceased one to be on display.
In a more religious family, a small bench may be placed in front of the casket or urn for guests to kneel in prayer before the deceased individual if they so choose.
A wake can also be seen as a ‘celebration of life’ where guests take turns sharing the loving memories and special moments they shared with the departed.
On the other hand, some wakes carry a severe tone throughout the gathering and instead use that time to mourn and lean on one another while grieving.
Although wakes are commonly held in the home associated with the dearly departed, modern wakes are often held at funeral homes.
What To Wear To A Wake
Trying to figure out what to wear to a wake can seem like a daunting task but it doesn’t have to be.
While there are standard guidelines in place and a common dress code, don’t let the event discourage you from remaining true to yourself and your sense of style.
Although a wake is not a funeral, you should style your outfit with the same decorum you would if you were going to a funeral.
Whether you’re wondering what to wear to a wake in the summer or fall, the idea is that you should be, above all else, respectful.
Whether you’re a man, woman, or child, it’s best to keep your color palette dark or muted.
Since this isn’t a funeral, you aren’t chained to the all-black dress code many follow when attending funerals. But, quite often, those attending wakes will wear darker attire (and this may even be an unspoken dress code).
Although some wakes operate under their own personal or sentimental dress codes, the common idea is to always wear dark colors when attending a wake. And this is a good rule of thumb to keep in mind when planning your wake attire.
When it comes to styling your outfit, you can never go wrong with wearing a business casual look. Think slacks, a pretty blouse, or a smart knit are all great options to consider.
These pieces are easy and effortless for wakes although business casual isn’t the only acceptable aesthetic.
For the men wondering what to wear to a wake male style, your favorite solid dark suit is a no-brainer while dark dress pants and an equally dark button-down shirt are also appropriate.
Additionally, wearing a tie (where appropriate) is a good look to further dress up your ensemble.
5 Wake Outfit Ideas For Women
If you consider yourself a fashion aficionado with an appreciation for the dramatics, you don’t have to compromise that for a wake. A knit dress with a bold corset belt and structured coat makes a polished ‘wake look’ that is sure to speak to your sense of style.
Suits are an easy choice for wake attire—whether you’re a man or a woman. Well-fitted tailoring is always polished and pairing the suit with a delicate yet frilly blouse gives the look some added interest and femininity.
It’s important to note that a blouse with a high neck is an optimal choice for its modesty but also for added chicness.
A black leather midi dress makes an appropriate wake ensemble. Accessorize the look with suede thigh-high boots for the fall/winter or platform mary jane pumps for the spring.
You can wear your favorite black silk dress to a wake when you style it over a black turtleneck.
Further accessorizing with different textures like a suede clutch or a black fur coat will enhance the ensemble. Easily take this look into fall by swapping out your long leather boots for black pumps or strappy sandals.
Jeans are typically a faux pas for a wake or funeral but a black pair of jeans can be styled for the event when paired with a dark blouse that elevates the jeans.
Steer clear of ripped denim but don’t be hesitant to consider billowy blouses with chic prints.
5 Wake Outfit Ideas For Men
Tiptop tailoring is always an excellent choice no matter the occasion. When you’re wondering what to wear to a wake, a dark suit is often the first choice for men and it’s a great one.
You can take your streetwear look to the pews when you style your athleisure attire in an elevated way.
Pair your track pants, sneakers, and dad hat with exceptionally tailored formal outerwear to camouflage the casual appearance and make the outfit look sleek.
For the minimalist, a simple black crewneck knit with black pinstripe trousers is an easy ensemble. Smarten up the look with loafers or give it a dash of edginess with platform boots.
While sneakers are often styled with simple outfits, be mindful of the silhouette and color you choose. A darker shoe that doesn’t steal the attention from the overall look is an optimal choice.
Consider mixing proportions when you’re pondering what to wear to a wake.
For instance, wide-leg trousers and a fitted jacket can make an ideal ensemble so long as they’re both a dark shade. Keep the look smart and polished by further styling it with a dress watch and loafers.
If you consider yourself a low-maintenance kind of dresser, don’t sweat it. An ensemble for a wake can be just as easy and as simple as wearing dark trousers with a black varsity jacket.
What Type Of Wake Attire Can You Get?
As previously mentioned, attire for a wake should be, first and foremost, respectful. However, modesty does not mean you have to override your own personal style.
Aim to be your most authentic self while also remaining respectful to your surroundings.
Remember, a wake is not a fashion show but it is a place you should present a more somber side of your style.
If you find yourself needing to update your wardrobe before the wake, consider these core pieces:
- Black Turtleneck
If the wake you’ll be attending is in the fall/winter, or even early spring, a black turtleneck is a no-brainer option. This polished wardrobe essential can be worn with black or gray slacks for men.
For those wondering what to wear to wake woman style, take this simple black turtleneck and pair it with a dark pencil skirt or trousers.
- Dark Midi Skirt
Whether pleated, asymmetrical, navy, or black, women and little girls alike can easily style a dark midi skirt for a wake. During the warmer months, this piece is best paired with a dark blouse.
Carry it into fall by pairing your midi skirt with sheer nylons, over-the-knee boots, and a dark mock neck top or chunky knit sweater.
- Dark Trousers
When searching the web for ‘what to wear to a wake men styles’ you’ll come across an array of looks including those with black trousers.
Slacks present a more refined look than jeans so they’re the better choice for wake attire. The leg of the trousers—whether wide, flared, straight, etc—doesn’t really matter as long as the overall outfit is polished and refined.
Like men, women can also wear trousers at a wake. Their easy elegance and comfortability make them a top contender for events such as this.
- The LBD (i.e. The ‘Little Black Dress’)
If you’re a woman with a basic little black dress hanging up in your closet, consider wearing it for a wake. So long as the dress is appropriate, the little black dress is a top choice for wake attire.
However, there are a few things to consider when thinking of wearing your little black dress for a wake.
Firstly, the dress should be no shorter than midi length. Also, there should be no cutouts of any kind, and the sleeves do not need to be restrictive so long as the neckline is appropriate.
For example, a spaghetti strap dress with a plunging V-neckline would not be the most appropriate choice whereas a spaghetti strap dress with a square neckline is more suitable.
If you’ve found a dress that’s perfect in all ways except for the sleeves or neckline consider styling your little black dress with an oversized blazer.
How To Choose The Best Wake Attire
Now that you’ve been given our top choices for what to wear to a wake, you might be wondering one thing: how do you choose the best wake attire?
To answer that question you’ll need to understand that choosing the best wake attire is much like choosing the best attire for an interview or your best mate’s wedding.
We suggest trying to pick out your wake attire just like you’d choose any other outfit—but with more restrictions. First and foremost, the wake attire you choose should always be a dark color unless stated otherwise by the hosts.
While some hosts encourage guests to celebrate the deceased person by wearing color or loud clothing, the most common practice is to honor them by wearing darker hues.
When putting together your outfit, black is the ultimate no-brainer choice for wakes while gray and navy are also acceptable colors.
When thinking about what to wear to a wake, it’s a good idea to consider your own wardrobe before heading out to buy something new. In a lot of cases, the most common wake ensembles are made up of wardrobe essentials most of us already own.
For example, the popular little black dress or a black turtleneck with black or gray slacks are all classic options.
However, if you do find yourself without these pieces in your own wardrobe, consider all the black clothing you own and if you can create a respectful look with those pieces.
With fashion trends ever-evolving, the modern wake ensemble might look much different than what you’re used to based on the wakes you’ve been to in the past.
In this day and age, many wake attendees have opted to style fresh new trends in an appropriate way.
For example, a crochet halter dress may be your favorite flirty go-to for spring/summer, but when styled over a black turtleneck and black sheer nylons, this dress can easily be taken from the poolside to the pews.
Also, don’t be afraid to get creative with your layering and accessorizing to breathe fresh new life into the pieces you own and also save yourself a shopping trip.
For instance, wife trousers, and a velvet crewneck sweater can make great pieces for a wake look although you may never have considered them before. So long as the items are black, don’t hesitate to make an outfit out of them.
How To Style Wake Attire
Knowing what to wear to a wake is merely the beginning, but knowing how to style your wake attire is when the ensemble will all come together.
Styling is how you infuse life into any look and your wake look shouldn’t be any different. Although this event is somber and subdued, you’re still allowed to be true to who you are.
So, when styling your wake ensemble, think about how you would style any other of your more polished looks and examine how you can tweak it to be more wake-appropriate.
For example, if you’re a maximalist with an affection for big chunky jewelry, consider your darker or transparent pieces. Styling a black turtleneck with clear acrylic hoops would pair better than a colorful or boldly sequin pair.
If you love to layer, you’re in luck. Layering is still allowed and can be done tastefully and thoughtfully for your wake outfit. A corset worn alone is a prime contender for a hot happy hour look but even this trendy piece can be styled for a wake.
Layer your corset over a button-down blouse or a sleeveless mock neck bodysuit with a blazer over top.
The key is to take a sexy piece and add some modesty.
Although you’re compromising on the sultriness of the look, you do gain a sense of chicness with this look and also get to transform one of your favorite pieces.
The rule of thumb for styling all wake attire is to keep it consistent with your overall look—and also keep the outfit polished and respectful.
Fashion Tips To Avoid With Wake Attire
What to wear to a wake may be the question but learning what not to wear to a wake is just as important. Fashion faux pas are often a learning experience and something even the most stylish of us grows through.
Although this minor fashion disaster is a common experience, one of the most awkward places to experience one is at a wake.
To avoid judgemental eyes, gasps, and gawks from loved ones, try to follow these fashion tips:
- Crop Tops
Although highly trendy and easy to style, it’s best to avoid any midriff-baring styles for a wake. However, there is a way to rock your favorite top even if it is cropped. Consider layering your crop top over a longer blouse/shirt for a stylish compromise.
- Offensive Logos/Graphics
A cheeky graphic tee or profanity-baring joggers can make stylish statement-makers. Even so, pieces like these have a time and place and, unfortunately, that place is not at a wake. So aim to keep your style clean in all respects.
- Bright Colors/Loud Patterns
Throughout this guide, we’ve reminded you to keep the colors in your wake outfit dark. This advice also extends to any loud or bold patterns.
While wakes are not devoid of all patterns, it’s best to choose patterns that have a darker hue like a gray and black houndstooth or a navy tartan.
Although wakes are a rather serious event, not all wakes are the same. The common attire for a wake is smart, serious, and modest although other wakes may have pre-established dress codes.
Unless the host has already indicated a dress code to follow, know that dressing in dark colors and sticking to a respectful style/attire is a safe bet.
Best Places To Buy Wake Attire
Simply searching for ‘what to wear to a wake’ on the internet may pull up a list of style and fashion choices but, unfortunately, there are no mainstream retailers or e-tailers that specialize in wake or funeral wear.
Thankfully, wake attire is hardly a custom costume or special garment that is hard to find. When shopping for a wake look, first seek out your favorite brands and/or stores. This will help you pick a look that’s both in line with the event while also not compromising on your style.
Regardless of where you shop, here are some retailers you can source your wake ensemble from:
Womenswear
Unisex and Childrenswear
Menswear
Final Thoughts
Now that you have a better idea of what to wear to a wake, attempt to create your ensemble with a clear mind even though your heart is heavy.
The idea of styling a look for an event so melancholy can be overwhelming but know that with the tips and styling advice in this guide, you can put together a stylish yet respectful look for any wake you may attend.
And here’s our number one tip: remember to keep the event in mind while styling your outfit but don’t let that discourage you from arriving in a look that’s still 100% you.
Looking to broaden your fashion horizons? We’ve got you covered:
